How I Found My Why ... and You Should Too!
Long before I knew the importance of finding your why (thank you Simon Sinek), I started my fitness journey in my high school's weight room under the guidance of the varsity basketball coach who made us go through a circuit of exercises on the universal machine a few times a month ... definitely not how to build a fantastic physique (or even better basketball players) but it was a start. I continued in college visiting the weight room (in)frequently and taking a weight lifting class (which ironically taught me how to do squats so they WOULD hurt my knees). I continued on and off with weight lifting and joining gyms but never really finding what I was looking for (a fit body) most likely because I committed on of the biggest "sins" a gym-goer can do, I used going to the gym as an excuse to have fast food, dessert, or other treats (not that those items are bad but you cannot expect results if you chase every workout with a milkshake).
My Why Happened When I Wasn't Looking for It
If I am completely honest, my I realized my health & fitness WHY after a failure.
I’ll get back to that later but first let’s look at where I started taking health and fitness more seriously. It started right after Memorial Day 2014 with a MLM product...while I no longer endorse this company I also do not feel it is a harmful product or promotes unhealthy practices. For me (ultimately) it was a way to introduce myself to measuring portion sizes, prioritizing vegetables, and following a plan. After 28 days I was down 10 pounds of body weight without increasing my exercise habits (I was probably weight training 2-3 times per week plus 1-3 days/nights of softball games).
I didn't really think I'd lose any weight on the program which prompted me to follow it PAINSTAKINGLY PRECISELY, which meant I carried my meals with me EVERYWHERE; I didn’t have a single ounce of beer, wine, or alcohol; and generally speaking I wasn’t having a lot of balance in my life. I didn’t really believe I would be able to lose any weight (I had tried other “plans” in the past) so I tested it under the strictest of circumstances and it worked, I learned I WAS capable of losing weight and (at the time) thought this product was the ONLY reason I could do it. The positives were: I learned if I ate more vegetables I was fuller after meals (less snacking between meals), the "sugar cravings" went down after a bit, I lost weight, and people noticed.
Looking back at some of my pictures from this time, I’m struck by how gaunt I look. Losing 20-some pounds (over the course of 6-8 months) when you’re not significantly overweight can be a lot. At one point, I was down to my high school weight (sophomore year) but more muscular and "toned" which seemed far fetched but it was true.
I apologize for the photo editing, I didn't take a lot of solo pictures at this time...
So I got down to about 135 pounds which like I said before was my high school weight but I looked skinner, here's a high school photo for comparison.
So "step 1" for me was learning nutrition and in January 2015, I started "step 2" hiring Tony Gentilcore as my online coach. It was my "Christmas gift" from my (at the time) boyfriend...yeah not exactly what most guys should get their significant other but it was 100% what I wanted. I had followed Tony Gentilcore for a while and I LOVED his style and though I felt like I needed to step up my strength training, I didn't feel the need to have an in-person trainer. In addition to the three-times-a-week strength training I was also training to run my first marathon (running 2-3 times per week), I also kept up with the same eating plan and more than likely I was chronically underfed. I hit some significant milestones working with Tony, including deadlifting for the FIRST time EVER and doing my FIRST PULL UPS ... this was the more significant accomplishment because I didn't think it was possible (perhaps not thinking it's possible is the "theme" here?!?).
By May 2015, I was a runner with muscles but I still liked lifting more than running. The marathon was an interesting adventure that I should probably write about in the future. I continued through the summer lifting and playing softball but in the late summer I had to step away from online coaching because I had to be more financially savvy as a single homeowner. I continued on following a program written by Dean Somerset because the number one thing I learned is I'm good at following a plan but when I write the plan, I don't challenge myself enough.
Sometime during the fall of 2015, I read a blog post saying that all trainers/coaches should compete in something strength related at least once in their life to have the experience. There are quite few ways to compete in strength: figure/body building, Olympic limiting (clean & jerk and snatch), strongman/woman, CrossFit, powerlifting, and probably a lot of others I can't think of (or don't know of). I have friends who've done figure competitions and based on my weight loss were pushing me in that direction but I knew I didn't want to be subjectively scored. I read some blogs and a lot talked about how women around my size were judged less favorably because they didn't have breast enhancement surgery and that wasn't an avenue I was going to explore. I also knew I don't have great shoulder flexibility so overhead lifting (i.e., Olympic lifting and many CrossFit exercises) wouldn't be great on me so I picked powerlifting. I read up on the sport and found a local gym who hosted beginner seminars and signed up.
I suppose this is "step 3," March 12, 2016 was my introduction to powerlifting at 2XL Powerlifting and the first time I donned a singlet in front of strangers (of course the first time I EVER wore one was slightly before this date because I had to try it on to see if it fit). They went over general meet information, weigh ins, commands, scoring, and other tidbits of info a newbie would need. The lecture ended with a mock meet and being that I had only been recently practicing on my own I had no idea what I would be capable of attempting. Here's my "official" first meet results: squat 176#, bench press 121#, and deadlift 220.5# (numbers are pound equivalents because kilograms are more commonly used in powerlifting) at a body weight of 156#.
I spent the next three months training for my first official meet using a template I found online for beginner powerlifters. I finished with a 215# squat, 132# bench press, and 259# deadlift finishing first in sub-masters women 75 kg division (I was the only competitor in this division) and I qualified for WPC Worlds (which I again won competing against only myself but also besting my lifts 226# squat, 137.5# bench press, and 286.5# deadlift). I ran the Cinco de Miler (5 mile race) the next day :)
In 2017 I competed twice (including a back-to-back powerlifting meet & race [Solider Field 10 Mile] and set new personal records before moving half way across the country to the Boston area. My move also brought me to The Strength House and formal powerlifting coaching. It was an eye-opening experience from form tweaks to an increase in volume that has caused me to get comments from others like "wow you're looking jacked" which is probably not something most 38-39 year old women hear. It has also helped me find my WHY but as I alluded to earlier there was a BIG failure along the way.
The Failure ...
I'm going to let you in on a secret, I HATE FAILURE ... I work hard in preparation to avoid failure and maybe one of the reasons I was drawn to powerlifting initially was because I went to meets alone (no coach/friends/family/cheering section) and was 100% ok that way because if I failed, no one would notice and I could just work on it for the next time (if I didn't post about it on social media, no one would have even knew I was in a competition). Just because I hate it doesn't make me immune to it...
My first meet after my move was in January 2018 and it was a push-pull which in theory seems great for me as squats are weakest lift but things didn't go well in bench press and I "technically" bombed out (missed first by jumping commands, second by hitting rack on my way up, and third lack of confidence) though they let me continue to compete in deadlifts (where I set a new personal record of 325# somewhat redeeming myself). I left dejected though I tried to make jokes of it, I considered quitting and just resuming normal life.
After the meet I reflected on why I started powerlifting and if I should continue. When I first starting powerlifting I had somewhat modest goals 1.5x BW squat, BW bench press, and 2x BW deadlift and I had hit most of those (BW bench press in training only) in less than two years. Maybe that should be satisfying enough but as I thought about the incredible progress I made since my move I realized my TRUE WHY is to see what I'm capable of.
I've always had a strong drive to try new things, to work hard to succeed, to not let other people hold me back, and I really suck at quitting. I've quit a job that wasn't fulfilling my potential, sold my house, and moved halfway across the country to work for free and then restart a career in a new field why would I quit over one bad meet?!? I redeemed myself in May at the New Jersey Rumble setting PRs in all 3 lifts and going 9 for 9 and I look forward to my next competition at RPS Women's Worlds in September.